so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
