there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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