if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Randomize
