he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
