Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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