I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have tasted many bathrooms
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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