The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
