i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
