Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
