im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
