I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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