O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
