So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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