I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
