I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
