My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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