You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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