Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
