Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
