Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
