I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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