But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
