So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
