Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
