the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
