I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
