I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
