Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
