That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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