Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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