i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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