Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
