I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You took a bar mat shot.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize