Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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