I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona