My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
