That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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