You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.