Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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