my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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