he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
