Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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