that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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