Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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