Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
