she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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