He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
