You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
