Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
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