You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
