please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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