Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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