Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I understand Curling. That high.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
