honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
