I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
