I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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