Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
