we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
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I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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