i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
