So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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