I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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