That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she looked like the before picture.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
