Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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