Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
